Friday, September 14, 2018


Hello friends,

This is about my evolution and how it has progressed in spurts. Ever since I was little, maybe 8-10 years old I remember being interested in both typical boy things and also girl stuff. I tried to ignore my interest in female stuff, but it always creeped back into my thoughts. I oet my hair get longer in HS at one point. I secretly trie curling it with curlers from our hall closet. (total fail).  A girlfriend from HS braided my hair in corn rows which I totally loved.  I was too chicken to keep them in back then. Things changed with my next girlfriend who became my first ex-wife. For fun one evening she put makeup on me. That really ignited my interest in makeup and back then crossdressing in private. I did that on and off for decades.  The only outward public signs were the multiple ear piercings in my left ear. none of which I would dare to wear to work or around family. I eventually pierced my right ear myself. It was a small step and it felt right.  I did that before it became so common place. Still dressing in private on and off for years.

The first big step came when my now second ex-wife went around telling anyone that would listen about my crossdressing.  At that point I said f@#k it and decided I didn't care what anyone thought.  I started getting pedicures with colored polish. After a year I started painting my nails and wore them to work painted. I got a little push back on that but the relented when I pointed out that there was no gender specific policy  The only policy was about  fake nails for direct patient care people. My patients are Dialysis machines and other equipment. I currently wear acrylic nails because mine are so weak and rip, peel, and break as soon as there is any free edge.

I also wear some makeup on a daily basis.  Usually eyeliner, mascara and a little shadow.

I have let my hair grow out and it is now half way down my back.  At work it is usually pulled back to keep out of my way. I am practicing being able to braid my own hair. I am good at doing other peoples since you can see what you are doing. Reaching behind you head and doing things is not easy. I lose track of which section goes where and just the reaching back there is a challenge for me.

Clothing has been my latest area.  It is hot here in Hawaii and skirts are cooler more comfortable and I like them.  I wear them in public. As with nail polish is you act like it is totally normal, people don't react often.I will get asked about the color polish if they like it. I love that they feel comfortable asking me.  No one has ever commented about the skirts.  I have a black denim one I love and a few light cotton casual solid color ones that are like heavy T-shirt material. Those I wear out of comfort on a hot day.

The point of my ranting is that I am way happier now than I think I have ever been. I can crawl under a car and change a transmission one day and wear a pretty skirt and makup the next. They are all me and I will no longer hide part of myself.


  1. It's nice to finally be able to be free and express ourselves in our own way, whatever that is. I believe all men have a feminine side but many are afraid to let it out, so for those of us who be honest with ourselves and let is happen, it's very freeing and opens up a whole new side of life. Congrats on your journey.

    1. You are so right! I am so much happier that I can express myself however makes me happy. I am lucky to live in an area that is diverse and just let people do their own thing.

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